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Table of Contents

May 2017 - Dadavani - English

EDITORIAL

By Adjusting to the Other Person, Prakruti Exhausts

What Does it Mean to Exhaust Prakruti?

If the Prakruti is Exhausted, Then one Becomes God

By Adjusting to the Other Person, the Prakruti Exhausts

One Should Have the Ability to Recognize Prakruti

It is not a Farm; it is a Garden

Avoid Clashes by Recognizing the Diverse Prakruti

The Other Person’s Prakruti Yields in This way

Recognize the Prakruti and Work With it

By Recognizing the Prakruti, Vitaraagta Prevails

See the Attributes, not the Faults

Why see Faults Where People act According to their Prakruti?

If one is Able to Adjust, Then his Work Will be Done

One who Wants to be Free Should Adjust

Adjust Instead of Being a Complainer

The Technique to Take Adjustments

Adjust to the one who Speaks First

If you Want to Wander, Then Keep Your Chalan at Home

The way to be Happy in Dushamkaal

The Technique for Unrest not to Arise

Progress Begins When One Adjusts

Do not Impose Your Opinion onto Others

Learn to Apply a Counter-Pulley

The one With More Light Should Adjust

Prakruti is a Machinery

When the Fuse Blows

Whatever you Have Gotten is Good as Gold

Simultaneous Adjustment With Two People

Adjustment is Indeed Justice

When Adjustments are Taken, the Energies Increase

Learn to Take Adjustment Even With the Obstinate one

Do not see law, Please Settle

When you Collide With a Wall, is it Your Fault or the Wall’s?

Figure out Where the Door is

Make Your way Such That Conflicts do not Arise

Where There is a Conflict, There the Fault is Indeed Yours

Avoid Clashes in This way

The World has Arisen Through Conflicts

Do not Increase Animosity

Decide That I Want to Settle With Equanimity

The Other Person is Unjust Because of Your Mistake

The Other Person is Only an Evidentiary Instrument

When Difficult Worldly Interactions Arise, Energies Blossom

With Vitaraagata, Files Dissipate

Settling With Equanimity is Indeed Your Moral Duty

Just say, “I want to Follow the Agna”

A Firm Decision is The Only Thing Needed

There is Difficulty Until the Other Person Gets Closure

Where the Past Karmic Ties are Sticky, Keep Awareness

To Exhaust the Prakruti is Purushartha

(Pg. 1)

(Pg. 2)

(Pg. 3)

May 2017 - Dadavani - English

By Adjusting to the Other Person, Prakruti Exhausts

EDITORIAL

After receiving the Knowledge of the Self, one attains the state as the Self. Thereafter, the prakruti (the non-Self complex) that remains; its settlement is left to be done. In order to attain final liberation, all one needs is to exhaust his prakruti. If the prakruti becomes exhausted, then one becomes God.

To exhaust the prakruti means to adjust one’s prakruti in a way suiting to the other person, and to settle the karmic account with equanimity by adjusting. During the day, we actually take adjustments for so many things. Now we should take adjustments with living beings too and become adaptive. For this, if we identify the other person’s prakruti, then we can easily take adjustments.

In this era of the time cycle, there is a variety of prakruti, so if one does not adjust, then how will it work? Some could be noble, some could be stingy, some could be obstinate and some could be sulky, so we should adjust to them. If the other person is obstinate, and if you too become obstinate, then when will a solution come about? You should become straightforward. When you adjust in every situation, then a solution will arise, and while you keep on adjusting your ego, your kashaya (anger, pride, deceit, and greed) will dissolve. What does not allow us to adjust? It is our anger, pride, deceit, greed, forcing others to do your will, illusory attachment, and doership. In trying to make our prakruti adapt to the other person, our Kashaya most certainly empty out. In doing so, we cannot hold on to anything anyone has said. What is the reason behind one adjusting? The he would say, “I want to become free.”

When will you be able to adjust everywhere? Dadashri says, “It is when you avoid clashes.” You are to avoid clashes for the ‘safe-side’ of your liberation, for your protection. We now want to make it to Lord Simandhar Swami and attain final liberation. Hence, be sure not to bind vengeance with anyone and to clear all karmic accounts with each file by avoiding clashes and settling with equanimity. You should settle files in such a manner such that it suits the other person; he becomes satisfied, does not get hurt and receives closure. If the other person’s mind does not reach closure, then vengeance will be bound for endless lives. Up until someone’s claim remains pending on you, you will not be able to attain final liberation. Therefore, by any means you should settle the karmic account with equanimity such that the other person feels settled with closure. After attaining the Knowledge of the Self, to exhaust the prakruti with equanimity is itself Purushartha (progress as the Self).

In the current compilation, through the keys shown by Dadashri the understanding of how to take adjustments, avoid clashes, settle files with equanimity, and exhaust one’s own prakruti are provided. All of this will prove to be useful in the Purushartha of exhausting the prakruti.

~ Jai Sat Chit Anand

(Pg. 4)

By Adjusting to the Other Person, Prakruti Exhausts

{Please note that ‘S’ Self denotes the awakened Self, separate from the ‘s’ worldly self or non-Self complex. The Self is the Soul within all living beings. The term pure Soul is used by the Gnani Purush for the awakened Self, after the Gnan Vidhi. The absolute Soul is the fully enlightened Self. The worldly soul is the self. In the same manner, ‘Y’ You refers to the awakened Soul or Self, and the ‘y’ you refers to the worldly self. Also note that round brackets are for translation purposes and square brackets are for clarity that has been added in English which is not originally present in Gujarati.}

What Does it Mean to Exhaust Prakruti?

Questioner: It is written in the Aptavani that, ‘Some prakruti (the non-Self complex) are prone to renunciation (tyaag), some prakruti are prone to penance (tapa), while some prakruti are prone to vilaas (sensual pleasures). To attain moksha (final liberation), you simply have to exhaust your prakruti.’ So what does it mean to exhaust the prakruti?

Dadashri: That is correct. To exhaust the prakruti means to make your prakruti adjust to the convenience of the other person, to do sambhaave nikaal (to settle karmic accounts with equanimity) with such an adjustment.

Questioner: But to attain liberation (moksha), how can I exhaust the prakruti?

Dadashri: By settling it with equanimity. Moreover, you should follow the five Agnas (five phrases that preserve and complete the awareness as the Self in Akram Vignan given by the Gnani Purush after Gnan Vidhi). Of the five Agnas if one Sees the relative and the Real that means that the prakruti will continue to exhaust.

If the Prakruti is Exhausted, Then one Becomes God

When each person exhausts the prakruti that is his, then that person becomes God. If One Knows his own prakruti, then One has begun to become God. Moreover, He exhausts it after Knowing it, by settling it with equanimity. When One Sees his own prakruti; such as, everything that he does and with whom, what is Chandubhai (reader should insert his or her name here) doing with others? He [the awakened Self] Sees all that.

To keep Seeing the prakruti is indeed referred to as exhausting it. To exhaust it in vyavahar (worldly interaction) means to exhaust it with equanimity. Such expending does not allow the mind to become elevated or depressed. For one to mellow out the Kashaya (anger-pride-deceit-greed) and stay put, and to keep exhausting the prakruti, that is considered as exhausting.

By Adjusting to the Other Person, the Prakruti Exhausts

Questioner: How can the prakruti (the non-Self complex) that is prone to sensual pleasures be exhausted and how can one go to moksha (liberation)? I do not understand that.

Dadashri: Yes. One can go to moksha after exhausting it.

Questioner: But how? Please explain this.

Dadashri: Do people not eat jalebi

(Pg.5)

(Indian dessert)? Do they not eat Alphonso mangos? All these are indeed sensual pleasures, aren’t they? Which one is not a sensual pleasure in all of this? These are all jeeva vilaas (sensual pleasures for living beings). Some sensual pleasures are very sticky and some are less sticky. Therefore, exhaust the prakruti by adjusting to the other person. That is considered as exhausting it, to settle it with equanimity.

If the other person says, “I want to make khichadee (a simple dish consisting of rice and lentils),” and if you insist, “No, you should make rice, if you don’t make it, then it will not do.” So if you start quarreling, what joy will there be in that? Human beings should adjust. One who does not know how to adjust cannot be considered a human being; he is to be considered a beast. What is he to be considered?

Questioner: He is considered a beast.

Dadashri: Yes, adjust. Adjust with the people in your home. If you do not know how to adjust with outsiders, then that is a different matter, but if you do not adjust with people in your home, then you are considered a beast. With outsiders, you may not be able to [adjust] because of some reason or another. However, after the wedding ceremony and after being married, can you not adjust? Can you not explain things to her?

The one who is able to adjust to others, he has no misery (dukha) at all. Therefore, adjust everywhere. When one is able to take an adjustment with each person, then that itself is the greatest religion. In the current time, there are different kinds of prakruti, so how will it work if one does not adjust?

One Should Have the Ability to Recognize Prakruti

So why is it that one is not able to take adjustments at home? There are many people in the family and he is not able to get along with everyone. That is the reason interference (dakho) happens in the setting of the yogurt! Why is that? The nature of human beings is not of one kind. As per the era(yuga), people’s natures become like the times. In Satyuga (the era of the time cycle that is characterized by unity in thoughts, speech, and action), everyone lives in unison (ekmel). Even if there were a hundred people in the home, they would all follow through as per what the grandfather said. While in Kaliyuga (this current era of the time cycle, which is characterized by a lack of unity in thought, speech, and action), if the grandfather said something, they would all hurl abuses back at him. If the father were to say anything, even then they would hurl abuses back at him.

Questioner: What is the reason for disputes to arise? Is it because of differences in people’s nature?

Dadashri: It is because of aGnan (ignorance of the Self). Where people’s temperaments do not match that is referred to as sansaar (worldly life). For the one with this Knowledge (Gnan; Knowledge of the Self and who the does is) there is only one-way out, to ‘adjust

(Pg.6)

everywhere!’ If someone hits you, even then you should adjust to him.

A man once told me, “Dada, in the home, my wife does this and she does that.” Then I told him, “Ask the dear lady, what has she to say.” She said, “My husband has no sense.” Therefore, I told him, “Now in all this, why are you looking for justice for yourself alone?” Then he said, “My household is ruined. My children are spoilt; my wife is spoilt.” So, I told to him, “Nothing is ruined. You do not know how to look at it. You should know how to be able to look at your own household. You should be able to know the prakruti (the non-Self complex) of everyone in the home.”

It is not a Farm; it is a Garden

Your home is actually a ‘garden’. In Satyuga (the era of the time cycle that is characterized by unity in thoughts, speech, and action), Dwaparyuga (the third era of the four ages), Tretayuga (the second era of the four ages) homes were like ‘farms’. In some ‘farms’ there would just be roses, while some farms would be full of the plumerias, and some farms would be full of the kewras (the flower of the pandanus plant). That is how it would be. While ‘farms’ have not remained in the current times of Kaliyuga, they have become ‘gardens’. Therefore, [in the home] you would now find a rose, a jasmine, an Arabian jasmine! Hence, being the eldest in the home, you may be a rose plant, but you go around trying to make everyone else a rose plant. You tell the different flowers, “You are not like me, you are pale. Why do you flower pale white flowers, why don’t you flower pink flowers?” This way, you keep beating the others! Hey you, at least learn to recognize the flowers. You have to recognize it all the way to understand what type of prakruti (the non-Self complex) it is! What kind of a flower it is! You should continue to observe the plant until it bears fruits and flowers so as to recognize it, ‘What kind of a plant is it. I have thorns, but he does not have thorns. My plant is a rose plant; but his is not a rose plant.’ After that when the plant flowers, you will know that, ‘Oh ho ho! This is a jasmine plant!’ Therefore, conduct yourself in a way befitting to a jasmine plant. If he is an Arabian jasmine, then interact with him in a way that is appropriate to that flower. You should conduct yourself with the other person according to their prakruti. In the past, sons, daughters-in-laws, they would all behave in accordance with the wishes of the elders in the home. Whereas in Kaliyuga, there are diverse prakruti where no one is in unison with another. Therefore, in the current times, in order for work to move forward in the home you should always adjust with the nature of the other person’s prakruti. If you do not adjust, then your relationship will spoil. Therefore, become a gardener and take care of the garden. The wife’s prakruti is different; the sons and daughters prakruti are also different. Benefit from each one’s prakruti.

Avoid Clashes by Recognizing the Diverse Prakruti

Now, human beings are just humans, but you do not know how to recognize

(Pg.7)

them. There may be fifty people in your home, but because you do not know how to recognize them, interference(dakho) continues to happen. Should you not recognize them? If a person in the house continues to nag, then that is indeed his nature. Therefore, once and for all, you should understand that this person is like this. Are you able to recognize for sure that this person is just like this? Then, would there actually be a need to inquire again? Once you recognize it, you no longer have to inquire any further. Some people have a habit of sleeping late and some people have the habit of going to bed early, so how can there be unison between the two? Now, as a family they all live together, so what would happen then?There would be one person in the home who would say, “You do not have much sense.” Therefore, you should recognize that, ‘He is indeed going to talk this way.’ Hence, you should adjust. Instead, if you were to answer him back, then you would become tired. That is because he ‘collided’ with you, but if you also collide with him, then it simply proves that you too do not have eyes either! What I am saying is that you should understand the science of prakruti (the non-Self complex). A part from that, the Soul (Atma) is a different matter.

‘We’ are familiar with each and every prakruti. ‘We’ immediately recognize it. Therefore, ‘we’ interact with people according to their prakruti. If you seek for ‘friendship’ with the sun at twelve in the afternoon, then what would happen? However, if you recognize that this is the summer sun while the other is the winter sun, then would you have a problem?

‘We’ recognize your prakruti, so even if you are looking to conflict, ‘we’ will not let you conflict, ‘we’ would move away. Otherwise, both of us would be in an accident and both our spare parts would break. If the other persons ‘bumper’ breaks, then what would be the state of the one sitting inside? The condition of the one seated within, would completely flatten, wouldn’t it! Therefore, recognize the prakruti. You should recognize the prakruti of everyone at home.

The Other Person’s Prakruti Yields in This way

If you recognize the prakruti (the non-Self complex), such that, ‘This is a rose,’ then would the rose plant yield (vash) to you? Would it behave such that its thorns would not prick you? You have to be tactful while working with it then its prakruti will yield. When would the rose plant yield? When you pick its flowers in a tactful manner such that its thorns do not prick you, this is when the rose plant yields to you. This manner is that which ‘we’ are trying to bring out. Otherwise, would a rose plant ever change? In fact, the moment you stick your hand in the plant, a thorn will definitely prick you. Would the thorn not prick you? I think it would spare the gardener, wouldn’t it? The gardener would not be spared, even though is he is the one who waters the plant? Would it not spare anyone?

(Pg.8)

Recognize the Prakruti and Work With it

With humans also, if you know how to recognize all the varieties of prakruti (the non-Self complex), then you would understand that this person is like a neem tree. You may touch the neem tree, sit under it, but you would not put its leaves in your mouth. Do people not sit under a neem tree?

Questioner: Yes, they do sit. They enjoy its cooling shade.

Dadashri: Hey, they even pull off some of its leavesandsmell them like this, but they would not put them in their mouth. They know that the leaves are definitely bitter; they are bitter right from birth. The prakruti of humans is not like that. A prakruti may be ‘bitter’ for a long time, but after a certain age, it becomes ‘sweet.’

Questioner: Does it change?

Dadashri: This is because humans are constantly changing; they are ever changing. The change that these [animals, birds, insects, and plants] have is only to give effect in that lifetime, whereas for us humans there are discharging effects along with binding [charging of new karmas]. Therefore, we cannot say that, “This person is a thief forever.”

Questioner: Can it be said that the neem tree will remain bitter forever?

Dadashri: Yes.

Questioner: And it cannot be said that a person will remain ‘bitter’ forever.

Dadashri: No. You should recognize, ‘What type of nature does the person have?’ Observe that in general terms. For example, for this man here, you can find out and recognize that, ‘This person is going to be like this.’ Yet, tomorrow morning, he may change around, such that he may become a great Gnani Purush (one who has realized the Self and is able to do the same for others).

Questioner: But for the most part, can the prakruti of humans actually remain constant throughout life?

Dadashri: Yes, it can. It does remain the same for many. That is the reason our people say, “Life (pran) and prakruti, both leave together.”

Questioner: But there is no such principle that it must remain constant?

Dadashri: Not for humans, but it is true for all other living beings.

After having recognized the prakruti, one should work with it accordingly. If you are the adamant (jakki) kind and I too am the adamant kind, then would it be fun? No, I would recognize that you are being obstinately confrontational, so I should let up there. This is because the one who becomes obstinately confrontational is not at fault; his prakruti is that way. No matter how much Gnan (Knowledge of the Self) one has, but he will indeed become obstinately confrontational in accordance with his prakruti.

By Recognizing the Prakruti, Vitaraagta Prevails

In worldly interactions (vyavahar), you simply have to recognize and know

(Pg.9)

the other person’s prakruti (the non-Self complex), what else? Swabhaav (his nature during interactions). To know the other person’s nature means that you would feel that, ‘Now that this man is here, there will be no problem.’ You could entrust your coat, shoes and all with him to look after and go away. Even if there were two hundred thousand rupees in your coat, you could hand it over to him, while you go out and return, as there would not be a problem. You would know that for sure. That is if you know the nature of his prakruti, then you would entrust him. But do take note, you cannot entrust things to others.

If you recognize the other person’s prakruti, then vitaraagata (total absence of attachment and abhorrence) prevails with that person. Such that, this is a rose plant and its thorns prick. Therefore, once it is decided that a rose plant certainly has thorns, then you would not become upset from the pricks its thorns. If you want roses, then you will have to bear the pricks of its thorns. To recognize the prakruti is knowledge (gnan), and once the knowledge is attained, it comes into conduct, that is all.

Therefore, if you recognize the prakruti, such that this person has a given attribute, then you remain with total absence of attachment and abhorrence towards him. You know that it is not his fault; it is his prakruti, which is like that!

See the Attributes, not the Faults

Everything that happens in this world happens because of the attributes of the prakruti (the non-Self complex) and not because of the properties of the Soul (Atma). Therefore, everyone should come to know the attributes of prakruti. It is due to faults within the prakruti that the other person appears to be at fault. You the Self should only See the attributes of the prakruti. In so doing, those faults certainly do not get any scope to increase.

‘We’ have with us, thousands of mahatmas (those who have received Self-realization through the Gnan Vidhi) and yet ‘we’ get along with each and every one of them, why is that? It is because ‘we’ recognize all the [different] prakruti. ‘We’ do not touch their ‘thorns’; ‘we’ only look at their ‘flowers’.

If the plumeria plant were to point out faults in the rose plant by saying, ‘You have thorns, you are of no use,’ then the rose plant would reply, ‘You look worn out’, and a quarrel would start. What would happen in the garden if all these different prakruti could talk then the entire garden would be filled with quarrels. Similarly, this worldly life (sansaar) is indeed a garden. It is because these prakruti are able to speak that they point out faults in others and end up quarreling.

Why see Faults Where People act According to their Prakruti?

Everything else is in accordance with each person’s prakruti (the non-Self complex). Whatever one’s prakruti is, he will indeed act according to it. Not everyone has to sing; if he were a singer, then he would sing songs. Each person

(Pg.10)

carries out work according to his prakruti. Besides, why look for faults in that? He does according to his ability. Each person works according to his ability. As per your design, you cannot ask one to do things that, “You certainly have to follow through according to my design.” There is no such law.

Each person works according to his prakruti; where is the fault in that? Is this the judges department? Each person works according to his prakruti. I too keep working according to my prakruti. The prakruti will certainly be there, won’t it!

If one is Able to Adjust, Then his Work Will be Done

Everyone has different strengths and different weaknesses. In Satyuga (the era of the time cycle that is characterized by unity in thoughts, speech, and action), it was such that in the home if one person’s prakruti was hot tempered, then everyone in the home would surely be hot tempered. Now in this Kaliyuga (the current era of the time cycle, which is characterized by lack of unity in thought, speech, and action), if one is ‘spicy hot,’ the second is ‘sour,’ while the third is ‘bitter.’ Family members would all be with different prakruti, and that is why adjustments cannot happen. The husband wakes up early while the wife wakes up late, then in the morning a quarrel arises. Due to this, worldly life turns sour. However, if one is able to learn to adjust with prakruti, then his work will be done.

One is considered to have [ideal] worldly interactions (vyavahar) when he adjusts everywhere! The time has now come for development. So, do not have matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions). That is why I have given people the phrase, ‘Adjust Everywhere!’ Adjust! Adjust! Adjust! If the kadhee (yoghurt soup) turns out to be salty, then understand that Dada has said to take an adjustment, so go ahead and drink a little bit of the kadhee. Yes, and if you happen to desire a bit of pickle, then go ahead and say, “Bring some pickle for me!” However, do not quarrel. There should be no quarrelling in the home. Even when one is in difficulty but he nonetheless is able to take his own adjustments that is when worldly life will be appealing.

You may not know anything else in worldly life, but you should know how to adjust. It is fine if you do not know anything else, there is no problem with that. If you do not know much about running a business, then there is no problem with that, but you should know how to adjust. When the other person continues to disadjust while you continue to adjust, then you will smoothly swim across worldly life.

One who Wants to be Free Should Adjust

Whosoever disadjusts with you, you should adjust with them. In day-to-day life, if there are disadjustments that happen between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or between a younger sister-in law and the older sister-in law, then for the one who wants to be free from cycle of worldly life, he or she

(Pg.11)

should undoubtedly adjust. Even between a husband and the wife, if one happens to keep tearing things apart, then the other should patch things back together; only then will the relationship sustain and peace prevail. Those who do not know how to take adjustments, people refer to them as crazy. There is certainly no need for obstinacy or insistence for the relative truth. Who can be referred to as a human? [The one who is] Adjustable everywhere! One should also adjust with a thief.

Adjust Instead of Being a Complainer

It is like this, you should know how to adjust at home too. If you go home late after attending satsang (spiritual discourses that promote the attainment of the Self), then what will your family say? “Shouldn’t you come home in good time?” So, what is wrong with getting home early? If a bull does not walk, then he would be poked at. Instead, if he were to move forward, then the herdsman would not have to poke him, would he! Otherwise, the herdsman would poke him and he would have to start moving. He does have to move forward, doesn’t he? Have you seen that happen? A stick with a nail on its end that is poked at the bull. What can the speechless animal do? To whom can he complain?

If people were to be poked at in this manner, then others would come to their rescue. However, to whom can the speechless animal complain? Now why would this animal have to suffer such beatings? It is because they had complained (fariyaad) a lot in their past [life] and now these are the results of that. Back in the ‘day’ [in their past life], when he came into a position of power, he continued to complain. Now he has no power, and he is to live without complaining. Therefore, now you should do plus-minus [reset the karmic account to zero]. Instead, what is wrong if you never become a complainer (fariyaadi; plaintiff)? If you become a complainer, will the time not come when you will be the accused? You do not want to be the accused or the complainer. When the other person hurls an abuse, you should credit it. You should never be a complainer! What do you think? Is it a good thing to be a complainer? Instead, is it not a good thing if you adjust from the beginning?

The Technique to Take Adjustments

Questioner: Please explain how one should adjust.

Dadashri: If for some reason you are late coming home and when you arrive if your wife starts to say offensive things, wrong-right statements, “You come home so late. I will not put up with this and that and the other...” If she has lost her temper, then you should say, “Yes, you are right. If you tell me to, I will go back. If you tell me to sit, I will sit inside.” She will respond, “No, don’t go back, just be quiet and go to sleep.” You then tell her, “If you tell me to, I will eat dinner otherwise I will go to sleep,” to which she will reply, “No, have your dinner.” Therefore, you should yield to her and eat. In this way, you have adjusted. Therefore, in the morning, she would serve you a first class cup of tea.

(Pg.12)

However, if you were to scream and shout at her, then she would bang your teacup on the table; and the quarrel would extend into the next three days.

What should one do if he does not know how to adjust? Do people quarrel with their wives?

Questioner: Yes.

Dadashri: Is that so? What would you partition off? With your wife, what would you partition off? The property is joint.

Questioner: Saythe husband wants to eat gulab jamuns (an Indian sweet dish), but the wife makes khichadee (a simple dish consisting of rice and lentils), that is when the quarrel starts.

Dadashri: So afterwards, after quarreling does he get gulab jamuns? At the end, he surely has to eat the khichadee.

Questioner: He orders in pizza from a restaurant.

Dadashri: Is that so? So he neither gets that [the gulab jamuns] nor this [the khichadee]. Instead the pizza arrives, doesn’t it? But he certainly missed out on that [the gulab jamuns]. Instead, he should have told his wife, “Prepare whatever is convenient for you.” She will someday also have the intent [to make the gulab jamuns], won’t she! Will she not eat the same food? So you should tell her, “Prepare whatever is convenient for you.” Then she will say, “No, I want to prepare that which is favorable to you.” At that time, you should tell her, “Make gulab jamuns.” But if you tell her to make gulab jamuns from the very beginning, then she will say, “No, I am going to make khichadee.” She will speak obstinately.

Adjust to the one who Speaks First

Questioner: What solutions do you have to stop this type of matabheda (the divisiveness that develops due to difference in opinions)?

Dadashri: I am actually showing you the way. [You should] Adjust everywhere. If she [first] says, “I want to make khichadee.” then you should adjust. And if you [are first to] tell her, “No, right now we need go out, we need to go to satsang (spiritual discourses that promote the attainment of the Self),” then she should adjust. Whoever speaks first, the other person should adjust to that.

Questioner: Then there will be a fight to be the first to speak.

Dadashri: Yes do that, but you should adjust to her. This is because you do not have authority in your hands. I know whose hands the authority lays in. Hence, is there any problem if you adjust here?

Questioner: No, not at all.

Dadashri: [To the wife] Do you have any problems with that?

Questioner: No.

Dadashri: So then, go ahead and settle (nikaal) the matter!

If you Want to Wander, Then Keep Your Chalan at Home

You should not have your chalan

(Pg.13)

(controlling influence) in the home. The person who maintains his authoritative control (chalan) will have to wander. Even ‘We’ had told Hiraba, “We are a currency that is out of commission.” ‘We’ cannot afford to wander! What does currency that is out of commission do? It remains seated next to God. If you try to exercise your controlling influence at home, then will clashes not arise? All you have to do from now on is to settle with equanimity(sambhaave nikaal).

Are you concerned with getting breakfast or with having an authoritative control? Therefore, search for a way in which you are to get a good breakfast. If the municipal government was taking a note of, ‘Whose controlling influence is in the home?’ then even I would not adjust. In fact, there is no ‘supreme being’ taking a note of this!

The way to be Happy in Dushamkaal

Of what is the greatest suffering? Of disadjustment. Instead, if one adjusts everywhere, then what can the problem be?

Questioner: It requires purushartha (effort).

Dadashri: There is no need for any kind of effort. Dada has said, “Adjust everywhere,” so follow that. Then you will continue to adjust. If your wife says, “You are a thief,” then you should tell her, “You are correct.” When your wife asks to buy a saree worth a hundred and fifty rupees, give her an extra twenty-five rupees. That will at least last up to six months!

If you want to finish some work quickly; then what would you do? Would you adjust or would you tell him, “File a lawsuit!” You would adjust and cut it short. Otherwise, would it not prolong? If you quarrel with your wife, then would you be able to sleep at night? And in the morning, you would not even get a good breakfast.

In order to become happy in this Dushamkaal (the current era of the time cycle characterized by a lack of unity in thought, speech, and action); that which I am showing you is a different way. Why should you spoil your breakfast? In the morning if breakfast is ruined, then lunch is ruined; the entire day is ruined!

The Technique for Unrest not to Arise

Dada’s science of adjustment, a wonderful adjustment it surely is. Moreover, wherever you are not able to adjust, there you must be getting a taste of it, isn’t it? Disadjustment is itself foolishness. That is because one believes, ‘I cannot let go of my role and function as a husband, and the authoritative control should always be mine!’ Then he will end up starving his entire life, and one-day there will be poison poured in his plate! It is running naturally, so let it be! This is in fact Kaliyuga (current era of the time cycle characterized by lack of unity in thought, speech, and action)! Just see how the environment is! Therefore, if your wife tells you, “You are worthless,” then you should say, “All right.”

Questioner: When my wife tells me that I am worthless, it feels like she is provoking me.

(Pg.14)

Dadashri: So, what solution would you bring to that? Would you tell her? “You are double worthless.” And by so doing, would your own worthlessness be erased? If she labels you once, should you label her twice? In this way, breakfast is spoilt and the entire day is spoilt.

Questioner: What is the intent behind taking an adjustment? Where will it take us?

Dadashri: The intent is for peace. The objective is peace. It is a remedy, which does not let unrest arise.

Progress Begins When One Adjusts

Is there actually a problem when one adjusts everywhere?

Questioner: No, not at all.

Dadashri: If the husband is the first to say, “Today make everything, onion fritters, ladva (an Indian sweet dish) and a vegetable curry.” So then, you [to the wife] should adjust to that. And if you were to say, “I want to sleep early tonight,” then he should adjust to that. Even if he had plans to visit a friend, then he should cancel them and go to sleep early. This is because if you [to the husband] happen to get into trouble with your friend, then you can see to it later on. However, right here at home do not get into trouble. However, in order to maintain a good impression with your friend, you create problems at home. It should not be so. If she is first to speak, then you should adjust to that.

Questioner: But what if he has to go to a meeting at eight o'clock and she says, “Go to sleep!” Then what should he do?

Dadashri: Do not imagine such things. The law of nature is such that, ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’If imagination (kalpana) is used, then things will spoil. In fact, on that day she would be the one saying to you, “You should go quickly.” She would even come up to the garage to see you off. It is due to one’s imagination that everything spoils. That is the reason why it is written in a book that, ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ If you follow this much, then it is more than enough.

At home if the wife says, “It is daytime right now,” and you say, “No it is nighttime,” and start a quarrel, then when will it come to an end? You should tell her, “I humbly request you to go outside and have a look; it is nighttime.” After that if she insists, “No, it is daytime,” then you should say, “You are correct. I made a mistake.” Only then would your progress begin. Otherwise, there is no way this would end. In fact, everyone is a ‘passer-by’. Even your wife is a ‘passer-by’.

Do not Impose Your Opinion onto Others

You should not express your opinion first. You should ask the other person, “What do you have to say in this matter?’ If the other person sticks to [his point], then ‘we’ let go of ‘ours’. All you need to take care of is, ‘In what way will the other person not get hurt’. Do not impose your opinion onto the other person. You should accept the other person’s opinion.

(Pg.15)

‘We’ have accepted everyone’s opinion and become a Gnani (the One with Knowledge of the Self). If I were to impose my opinion onto anyone, then I will indeed fall short. No one should be hurt by your opinion.

If your revolutions are at eighteen hundred and the other person’s revolutions are at six hundred, and if you impose your opinion onto him, then his ‘engine’ will break down. Then all his ‘gears’ will have to be replaced.

Learn to Apply a Counter-Pulley

Questioner: What is meant by revolution?

Dadashri: It is the speed of thinking; it is different for every individual. If something has happened, then in just one minute it can show you so many things; it shows you all its phases at a time. All these great presidents have twelve hundred revolutions running per minute; compared to that of ‘ours’ which are at five thousand, while Lord Mahavir had one hundred thousand revolutions!

What is the reason for matabheda (the divisiveness that develops due to difference in opinions) to arise? Your wife has one hundred revolutions, while yours are at five hundred, and you do not know how to apply a ‘counter-pulley,’ so then sparks fly, quarrels arise. Hey! Many times the engine even breaks down. Did you understand the meaning of revolution? That is why, when you talk to laborers, your point does not get through to them. As their revolutions are at fifty and yours are at five hundred. Some people have a thousand and some even have twelve hundred. Depending on their development, people’s revolutions are based on that. Your point will reach the other person only if you apply a counter-pulley in the middle. To apply a counter-pulley means that you should place a belt in between to lower your revolutions. I apply a counter-pulley with everyone. It is certainly not enough [to solve the conflict] by removing only the ego. One has to apply a counter-pulley with everyone. That is the reason why ‘we’ never have a divisiveness develop due to the differences in opinions (matabheda) with anyone ever! ‘We’ know that this person has only these many revolutions. Therefore, ‘we’ apply a counter-pulley accordingly. ‘We’ also get along very well with little children. That is because ‘we’ apply [a counter-pulley to lower down to] forty revolutions with them, so they understand ‘our’ point. Otherwise, their ‘machine’ would break down.

Questioner: If one comes to the level of the other person, only then it is possible to communicate, isn’t it?

Dadashri: Yes, when you come down to their revolutions, only then will you be able to communicate. While conversing with you, ‘our’ revolutions go around to all the different places! They would go and travel around the entire world! If you do not know how to apply a counter-pulley, then what fault is there of the engine that runs with fewer revolutions? It is your fault that you do not know how to apply a counter-pulley.

(Pg.16)

The one With More Light Should Adjust

Questioner: I have reached a certain level, while others are not at that level. Now I definitely have to work with such a person, so due to that many a times there is lack of unison.

Dadashri: There would not be any unison there! There may not be any unison, but you should adjust with him. That is the very reason why I have said, “Over there you should settle with equanimity (sambhaave nikaal).”

It is like this, if you have a brighter ‘light,’ then you can ‘dim’ it. However, for a person who already has dim light, it cannot be brightened. That means that since you have brighter light, you should dim your light before you sit with him. If your light happens to increase, then in what manner would you get work done with him, would you not ‘fit’ [adjust] in that? In the same way, you should ‘fit’ everywhere. You are to ‘fit’ [adjust to] it, as there is infinite energy [within you to adjust]! When you take Dada’s name and say, “Hey Dadaji, may I ‘fit’ to the situation” then it will immediately ‘fit.’ In addition, it certainly is in your intent that, ‘May no one be hurt even to the slightest extent.’ If that is what you have decided upon, then he certainly will not be hurt. Therefore, you should make the decision.

Prakruti is a Machinery

Prakruti (the non-Self complex) is considered to be machinery, so how can one be obstinate with machinery in this way? If you tell the gear in the machine, “See, I will touch you with my finger, I am the one who has created you. So, you should not come in the way of my finger.” Nevertheless, it will definitely cut it off whether you created it or whoever else did. This is because it is a mechanical adjustment. In the same manner, this prakruti is mechanical. Therefore, you should learn this from Dada such that the mechanical adjustments all become weak. Is that possible or not? For once, you should come and learn this art from ‘us’. This bodhkada (art of worldly interaction) is a non-violent art; it is not a violent art. Yes, the kind that takes one to moksha (final liberation). Therefore, whatever remaining life there is, now do not waste it!

When the Fuse Blows

All that needs to be known is, ‘what sort of a machinery is this and when its fuse blows [interaction disrupts], then how is a fuse to be replaced’. You should know how to adjust with the other person’s prakruti. Even if the other person’s fuse blows, ‘our’ adjustment will be there. However, what happens when the other person’s adjustment breaks down [fuse blows]? When his fuse blows, he will bang into the wall, he will bang into the door, nevertheless the wire has not been damaged [the connection lines are intact]. So then, if someone replaces the fuse, then once again he will be set. Otherwise, until that happens, he will remain entangled.

Now, suppose your wife had a quarrel with the neighbor and her mind is enraged. When you come home from

(Pg.17)

outside, and she speaks to you with rage, then what should you do? Should you also become enraged? Such circumstances do arise, then there you should adjust and carry on. How could you know under what circumstances she became enraged and with whom had she been enraged? Now, you have become the Self (Purush), you should not let matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions) arise. If she creates matabheda, even then you should patch it up. Matabheda means conflicts!

Whatever you Have Gotten is Good as Gold

If you were to adjust to the other person in every aspect then things would become so straightforward! [When you die] What are you going to take along with you? Someone may say, “I will straighten her out.” ‘We’ would say to that, “Hey, if you try to straighten her, then you will end up becoming crooked. Therefore, do not try to straighten up the wife; no matter how she is, tell her that she is correct.”

Therefore, you should not straighten her out, and she will not straighten you out. Whatever you have gotten is good as gold. A person’s prakruti (the non-Self complex) will never straighten out. A dog’s tail will indeed remain twisted. Therefore, you should tread with caution. However she may be, let her be. Adjust everywhere.

[Adjust] Rather than reproaching her, she will be more straightforward if you do not reproach her. The one who does not get angry, his taap (energy that impresses and awes others) is felt tremendously. ‘We’ never scold anyone, which is why everyone feels ‘our’ taap tremendously.

Questioner: So then, will she straighten up?

Dadashri: Right from the beginning, this has always been the path to become straightforward. However, in Kaliyuga (this current era of the time cycle, which is characterized by lack of unity in thought, speech, and action), this is not agreeable to people. Nonetheless, there is no other way.

Questioner: But it is very difficult.

Dadashri: No, no. It is not difficult; it is actually easy. The weight of the cow’s horns is to be borne by the cow.

Questioner: But it also can hit us with them, isn’t it?

Dadashri: Some day you may be hit by it. When the circumstance to be hit by a horn arises, you would move aside, so in the same manner, you should move aside [adjust] here.

Simultaneous Adjustment With Two People

Questioner: Oftentimes it so happens that I have to adjust with two people at the same time over the same issue. Then at that time how can I manage everything?

Dadashri: You can take it [the adjustment] with both. Oh, if you were to take it with seven people at the same time, you would still be able to take it.

(Pg.18)

If one of them asks, “What did you plan for me?” Then you would answer, “Yes, I will do as you say.” You should also say the same thing to the other person; “I will do as you say.” Nothing is going to happen outside of Vyavasthit (Scientific Circumstantial Evidence). Therefore, in any which way do not let a quarrel start.

It is because of labeling things as good or bad that the ‘ghosts’ [opinions] harass you. You have to make both of them equal. When you refer to this as good, the other [automatically] becomes bad and then it harasses you. However, if both were to be mixed together, then it would not have any effect. ‘Adjust everywhere,’ is something ‘we’ have discovered. With the one who is speaking the truth and with the one who is telling a lie go ahead and adjust with both. If someone were to say to ‘us’, “You have no sense,” then immediately I would adjust to him and ‘we’ would tell him, “There indeed was none to begin with! Is this something you have come to look for now? Well, youjust happened to discover this today, while I have known of this since childhood.” If ‘we’ say this, then there is no problem, and thereafter he will certainly not come to us to look for sense. If you do not do this, then when will you reach ‘Your home’?

Adjustment is Indeed Justice

‘We’ are showing you the straightforward and simple way, and is it such that these clashes happen everyday? It only happens when your karma unfolds, so then you should adjust to that extent. If you happen to quarrel with the wife at home, then after the quarrel make her happy by taking her out to a restaurant. Therefore, there should be no tanto (a grudge that continues to linger after a conflict).

‘We’ refer to ajustements as justice. Insistence (agraha) and undue obstinacy (duragraha) cannot be considered justice. Insistence of any kind is not justice. ‘We’ are not obstinate about anything. ‘We’ would cook the green grams with whatever type of water they would cook in; ‘we’ would even use water from the gutter to cook them if need be!

If you come across a thief and if you were to disadjust with him, then he would hit you. Instead of that, you should decide that, ‘I want to adjust and deal with him.’ Then you would ask him, “What is your wish? We are on our way to a pilgrimage.” You should adjust to him.

The creek near the Bandra Station [in Mumbai] is foul smelling, so would you scold it? In the same manner, these people are ‘foul smelling’, so can you tell them anything? Everything that smells foul is considered a creek, and that which gives out fragrance is considered a garden. Everything that is foul smelling is telling us to “Remain vitaraag (without attachment and abhorrence) with us!”

If you do not adjust everywhere, then you will all go mad. When one continues to provoke others that is why he goes mad. If you provoke this dog for a first time, a second time, a third time around until then he will respect you, but

(Pg.19)

thereafter if you continue to provoke him, then he too will bite you. Even the dog would realize that, ‘This man is provoking me every day, he is useless, and he is shameless.’ This is worth understanding. Do not create any problems at all; adjust everywhere.

When Adjustments are Taken, the Energies Increase

Questioner: We do have to interact in the world, so then adjustments should surely not be from one-side, should they?

Dadashri: [Acceptable] Wordly interactions (vyavahar) are referred to those in which one adjusts in such a way that even the neighbors would proclaim, “Every household has disputes but this household does not have any disputes.” Such a person’s worldly interactions are considered as the most appropriate. With people you do not get along with, there you indeed have to develop energies. With those that you get along with, there the energy already exists. Where one does not get along, that is a weakness. Why do I get along with everyone? The number of adjustments one takes, because of that an equivalent amount of energies will increase while the weaknesses (ashaktio) will break. Real understanding will only set in when every wrong understanding is locked out.

Learn to Take Adjustment Even With the Obstinate one

Everyone is able to adjust with those who are soft, but when one is able to adjust with obstinate-strong-strict, and indeed with all sorts of people then his work is accomplished! No matter how shameless and unscrupulous a person may be, even then if you know how to adjust without losing your inner peace, then it is of use! It will not do if you get upset. Nothing in this world will ‘fit’ [adjust] to you. However, if you ‘fit’ to it, then this world is good, otherwise if you make it ‘fit’ to you, then this world will be obstinate. So, adjust everywhere. If you ‘fit’ to it, then there is no problem.

The awakened One(Gnani) will adjust to the other person even if that person is obstinate. If one were to observe the Gnani Purush and then conduct himself, he will know how to take all kinds of adjustments. What does the science behind this say, “Become vitaraag (free from attachment and abhorrence); do not engage in attachment and abhorrence.” It is in fact, because some kind of aasakti (inner tendency inclined towards attraction that attaches) is left remaining within that one is beat up. In worldly interaction (vyavahar), those who have become ekpakshi-nispruha (indifferent to one side only with reference to the balance between the Real and the relative) are referred to as obstinate (vanka).

Do not see law, Please Settle

Don’t see law, please settle. For a settlement with other person you would say, “You do this. You do it.” However, where is the time to say all that? There may be a hundred mistakes made by the other person, even then, you should certainly claim it to be your own mistake

(Pg.20)

and progress. In these times (kaal) how can you even turn towards the law? In fact, things have reached rock bottom! Everywhere you look; there is endless running around and running away! People have become entangled! When he goes home, the wife screams and shouts, the children scream and shout and when he goes to work the boss screams and shouts. When he gets on the train, the crowd shoves him around! There is no ease (nirant) anywhere! One needs ease, doesn’t he? If someone happens to pick a fight, then you should sympathize with him that, “Oh ho ho! He must be filled with so much unrest that he picks fights!” All those who become restless (akday) are weak (nabda).

When you Collide With a Wall, is it Your Fault or the Wall’s?

Questioner: If I do not want to clash, but the other person comes fighting, then what can be done?

Dadashri: If you were to fight with this wall, how long would you be able to fight? What if one day you happen to bump your head against this wall, what would you do with it? If the head bumps with the wall, you have a fight with it; does that mean you should keep hitting the wall? Similarly, all those who instigate many clashes are walls! In that, what is to see in the other person? You should understand on your own that, ‘They are like a wall.’ Then there would be no problem.

Questioner: If I remain silent, then the other person takes that the wrong way thinking, ‘He is certainly at fault’ and he would end up clashing even more.

Dadashri: In fact, it is something you have presumed that, ‘Because I remained silent that this happened.’ What if someone wakes up in the middle of the night and in the dark on his way to the bathroom, ends up bumping into the wall; now here, is it because he remained silent that he collided?

Whether you remain silent or you speak does not affect it at all, these things are not connected. By you remaining silent and that affecting the other person there is nothing like that. On the other hand, by you speaking and that affecting the other person, there is nothing like that either. It is only Scientific Circumstantial Evidence. No one has even the slightest power. In the world where no one has even the slightest power, what is anyone going to do? If the wall has power, then that person has power!Do you have the power to scold this wall? The same applies for a person. Moreover, the clash that is to happen through his nimit (an apparent doer who is simply instrumental in the process of unfolding karma) will not let you go. So, what is the point in screaming and shouting uselessly? There is no power in his hands for that! Hence, you should become like a wall, shouldn’t you! When you continue to rebuke your wife then the God that resides within her takes a note such that, ‘He is criticizing me!’ Alternatively, when she reproaches you and you become like a wall, then the God residing within you helps you.

Therefore, only when it is your

(Pg.21)

fault, you collide with the wall. For that, the wall is not at fault. That is when people ask me, “Are all these people walls?” so then I tell them, “Yes, people too are walls indeed.” I say this having Seen it. This is not baseless.

Figure out Where the Door is

To have matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions) with someone and to collide into a wall are both one and the same thing. There is no difference between the two. When one bumps into a wall, he bumps into it because he did not see it. Similarly, when matabheda arises, it is because he cannot see, therefore matabheda arises. He cannot see that which is ahead. He cannot find a solution to what is ahead, and that is why matabheda arises with the other person. All the anger-pride-deceit-greed that one does is only because he cannot see! So in this way the point needs to be understood, doesn’t it? It is the fault of the one who gets hurt, isn’t it! Is the wall at fault at all? Everything in this world is indeed a wall. When you bump against a wall, you do not set out to establish right and wrong saying, “Mine is correct!” You do not go through the trouble to fight with it in any way, do you? In the same manner, right now the other person is in a position as a wall indeed. There is no need whatsoever to prove to him what is right and wrong.

That which collides, you should understand that ‘this is indeed a wall.’ Therefore, you should figure out ‘where is the door?’ Then even in the dark, you will find the door. While you move fumbling around you will find the door, won’t you? From there then you should escape. You should abide by the law that, ‘I do not want to collide nor do I want to be a part of anyone’s collision.’

Make Your way Such That Conflicts do not Arise

When you are moving straight ahead and an electricity pole comes right in the middle of your path it is you, who has to understand [and adjust]. However, what would happen if you were to say to it, “Who are you to stop me in the middle?” In the same manner, if a bull comes in your way, would you tell it, “Move aside, move aside!”

Questioner: That will not work.

Dadashri: There you should move aside. If a snake were to come, then what?

Questioner: Then it would mean that it is a world of animals.

Dadashri: Actually, what you refer to as animals; human beings are just like them.

Questioner: How can I recognize that?

Dadashri: You can understand it. When he starts to raise his horns, can you not understand that he is a bull? Therefore, you should move aside. ‘I’ recognize them even before they start to come close. ‘I’ recognize them from their smell. Even some are like rocks, some are like buffalos, some are like cows, some are like humans, some are like snakes,

(Pg.22)

some are like poles; there are all kinds of people. So now, you should not get into conflict [with anyone]. Steer your way out of conflict.

Where There is a Conflict, There the Fault is Indeed Yours

Questioner: In life people’s nature do not match; so is that why conflicts arise?

Dadashri: The springing up of conflicts, that itself is refered to as worldly life (sansaar)!

Questioner: What is the cause for conflicts to arise?

Dadashri: Agnanta (ignorance of the Self). When divisiveness develops between you and anyone else due to differences of opinions that is a sign of your own weakness. People are not wrong; amidst any divisiveness (matabheda) the fault is yours. People are not at fault at all. If someone is doing something deliberately, then there you should ask for forgiveness by saying, “Dear man, I do not understand this.” Nevertheless, people are the ones who make mistakes at all. People are not the ones who create a divisiveness due to a difference in opinion. Where ever the conflict arises, there the fault is indeed yours.

Questioner: If I am the one who wants to avoid clashes, then even if a pole is standing in the middle of the way, I should go around it. However, what should I do if the pole itself falls on top of me?

Dadashri: When it falls, you should move aside.

Questioner : No matter how much I try to move out of the way, even then the pole ends up hurting me. For example when my wife clashes [with me].

Dadashri: Find out what you should do the moment she clashes.

Avoid Clashes in This way

You get off a train and immediately you shout out to the porters, “Hey … come here, come here!” Two to four porters come running. [You say to one of them] “Come on, pick it up.” After he carries your luggage all the way out, then you begin to argue with him, “I am going to call the [station] master, how can you ask for so much money? You are doing this, you are doing that …” Hey you mooah (a classic term used by Dadashri to shake up the listener, it literally means ‘one who is destined to die’), do not get into a conflict (athadaman) here. If he is asking for twenty-five rupees, then you should persuade him by saying, “Actually, it should only be ten rupees but you go ahead and take twenty anyways!” You should know that you are stuck with him; therefore give him more or less and settle the matter. Do not get into a conflict there. Otherwise, as it is, he is already perplexed, having left his home with uneasiness, and if you are to start a quarrel with him at the station, then hey you mooah, he is like a buffalo; he will in an instance stab you with a knife. At thirty-three percent one is born as a human while at thirty-two percent he would have been a buffalo!

When someone comes yelling at

(Pg.23)

you, and words come at you as if they are bombs, then you should know that, ‘I have to avoid clashes’. When there is no effect (asar) on your mind whatsoever, yet all of a sudden, if some effect arises, then you should know that, it is the effect of the other person’s mind [shadowing] on you. Therefore, you should move aside [avoid clashes]. All of those are clashes. As you continue to understand this, you will be able to avoid more and more clashes. By avoiding clashes, liberation (moksha) is attained.

The World has Arisen Through Conflicts

This world is conflict (athadaman) itself; it is in the form of vibrations (spandan). Therefore, avoid clashes (athadaman). It is due to conflicts that this world has arisen. “It has arisen through vengeance (ver).” That is what the Lord has said about it. Every human being. Oh! However, not just them, jivmatra (every living being) harbors vengeance. When things become unbearable, they cannot remain without harboring vengeance. Irrespective of whether it is a snake, a scorpion, a bullock or a buffalo, no matter what it may be, it harbors vengeance. That is because there is a soul (atma) within everyone. And within everyone, the energy of the Soul is the same. However, it is because of the weakness of pudgal (the non-Self complexof input and output) that one has to tolerate things. However, upon tolerating, one cannot refrain from harboring vengeance, and in his next life, he will take its revenge!

Every living being is independent and comes to seek happiness. He has not come to give happiness to others. So now, instead of happiness if he receives pain, then he will bind vengeance, regardless of whether it is one’s wife or son.

Questioner: One comes to seek happiness, however instead of that he receives pain so is that why he binds vengeance?

Dadashri: Yes, and it does not matter whether it is his brother or his father, but from within him, he will bind vengeance. Such is this world; it most definitely binds vengeance! When One is in His swadharma, (the true nature of the Self), no vengeance arises for anyone.

Do not Increase Animosity

If vengeance has been bound with someone, then you would be able to know that there is enmity (ver) with that person such that, ‘I am not harassing him, yet he keeps on harassing me.’ Hence, when you come to know that vengeance has been bound with him, you should go ahead and settle (nikaal) with him. And when the account of vengeance happens to be settled that is considered as being the greatest purushartha (spiritual effort). This world remains unresolved because of vengeance itself. Therefore, do not bind vengeance. If you make a mistake, then ask for forgiveness, and bring about a solution for that mistake, in anyway which way end the case. This world perpetuates due to vengeance. So that means, when there is vengeance present anywhere, then by granting forgiveness or by asking for forgiveness, or by even

(Pg.24)

bowing down at that person’s feet, be sure not to bind vengeance with the other person. Moreover, you should clear the enmity with the person so that he becomes happy and says, “No, now there is no problem anymore.” Bring about a mutual understanding (samadhan) with him so that he does not hinder you.

The Lord has said that, “In this life you should not increase any new enmity and you should let go of the old enmity.” When you let go of old vengeance there is so much peace, isn’t it! Otherwise, in the past, our people would continue to twirl their moustaches [while thinking of avenging the other person] and thus increasing vengeance, but now you should not increase vengeance. Day by day, you should reduce vengeance. This Dada has no enemies. That is because He has come having settled enmity. He has come in this life after having settled all enmity and that is exactly what ‘we’ teach you; “Do not increase enmity now in this life.”

Some patients are such that they do not pay their bill and on the contrary, they yell at you. You may even say, “If you do not pay, it is okay!” Yet he will say, “Doctor, I will see you [in court].” “Hey what is the point in seeing me? You have already seen me.” Do whatever is necessary to bring an end to the case. Do not leave things such that a continuance of court dates results. For us [mahatmas; those who have received Self-realization through the Gnan Vidhi], that very day [that the circumstances come together] is our [court] date indeed, so settle it at that very time. Otherwise, there will be a continuance of court dates and the case will linger on, and the enmity will continue to increase. Do not ever leave things in such a state.

Decide That I Want to Settle With Equanimity

Questioner: The main thing that remains for us is to keep in awareness (laksha) to interact in the world with equanimity.

Dadashri: That is all; You should settle with equanimity (sambhaave nikaal). All You have to do is follow the five Agnas (five phrases that preserve and complete the awareness as the Self in Akram Vignan given by the Gnani Purush after Gnan Vidhi); that itself is considered as having settled the file [Dadashri’s term for anyone or anything that takes one away from the Self and into worldly life] with equanimity. Then if the other person does not reciprocate, that is a different matter. If the other person is being difficult, we do not have any problem with that. We are not responsible for that.

Questioner: But if I adjust with the other file, is that not considered settling with equanimity?

Dadashri: When that file comes in front of you in the mind there should be a decision that, ‘There is [an unsettled] problem with this file, but now I want to settle it with equanimity.’

The Other Person is Unjust Because of Your Mistake

Questioner: If I have the inclination

(Pg.25)

to avoid clashes and to settle the file with equanimity, nonetheless, the other person harasses me, insults me, then what should I do?

Dadashri: Nothing at all. That is your karmic account. You should remain firm on the decision that, ‘I want to settle [this file] with equanimity’. You should always remain within your principle and keep solving your puzzle by yourself.

Questioner: When the other person insults me and I feel insulted, is that because of my ego?

Dadashri: As a matter of fact, when the other person insults you, he is dissolving your ego, and that too the ‘dramatic’ ego [discharging ego]! Whatever amount of excess ego there is, that dissolves. What loss is there in that? It is karma that do not allow you to become free. For us [mahatmas], even if there were a small child in front of us, we should say, “Now, set me free.”

If someone has done injustice to you and if you wonder, ‘Why has this injustice been done on to me?’ then you would bind karma. That is because it is on the account of your mistake that he has to do injustice to you. How can the intellect (mati) ever get to this level? The world would surely end up quarrelling! In the Lords terms, no one does any justice nor does anyone do any injustice; whatever they are doing is correct. Now, how can people’s intellect ever get to this level? When matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions) within the home decrease, disputes decrease, love amongst one another increases, then you can gather that this point has been understood, otherwise, this point has not been understood.

Gnan (Knowledge of the Self and who the doer is) says that, ‘If you seek justice then you are a fool!’ Therefore, the solution to that is penance (tapa).

When someone does an injustice towards you, then in the Lords terms it is correct, but in worldly terms one would say, “He wronged you.”

This world is in the form of justice; it is not baseless (gappu). Even a mosquito cannot touch you just like that without any reason. If the mosquito touches you that means there is some kind of a cause on your part. Otherwise, without a reason whatsoever, not even a vibration (spandan) can touch you. You are completely independent (sampurna swatantra). You have no setbacks from anyone.

The Other Person is Only an Evidentiary Instrument

Questioner: So does it mean that in my mind I have to be content that, ‘It is the stock of karma that already existed, which has now come forth’?

Dadashri: He, Himself is a pure Soul (Shuddhatma), and this is his prakruti. It is the prakruti that is giving this effect. You are a pure Soul and he too is a pure Soul. Now it is the two [prakruti] that are settling all their karmic accounts with one another. In that, it is due to the unfolding karma of this prakruti, that he gives something. That is why ‘We’ said, “It is the unfolding of your own karma

(Pg.26)

and the other person is merely a nimit (an apparent doer who is simply instrumental in the process of unfolding karma).” Therefore, when he gives it to you, your karmic account is clearing. When you have such a solution, then there would not be a need to endure anything, would there!

Therefore, with this Gnan, you simply have to realize that the other person is a pure Soul. Whatever has come to me is because of the unfolding of my very own karma, and the other person is only an active evidence (nimit). Then this Gnan itself will actually solve the puzzle for you.

When Difficult Worldly Interactions Arise, Energies Blossom

If ‘wrong’ [difficult] worldly interactions (vyavahar) never arose, then our energies would never blossom. Therefore, be grateful to the person that, “Dear man, I am obliged to you. You have helped me develop some energy!”

Questioner: Yes, that is correct. That is the ultimate truth.

Dadashri: If one understands this, then a solution can come about otherwise, it is not such that a solution can arise. Religion(dharma) cannot be in books, religion can only exist in worldly interaction. How can religion exist in books? ‘You’ should simply maintain that, ‘I want to remain ideal (aadarsh) in worldly interactions.’ Maintain such an intent that worldly interactions should not spoil. However, if it happens to spoil, then you should settle it with equanimity.

At your home, does a little dakho (interference of the ego in the unfolding karma) or dakhal (the effect of the interference by the ego in the unfolding karma) arise at all? There may be some matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions), problems may arise, everything may happen, but it is with discharging intent (nikaali bhaav). There is no tanto (a grudge that continues to be linked with a conflict) linked with it. And in the morning, a first class cup of tea is made. You may have fought at night, and you may have even ‘added salt’ to the milk, yet in the morning, with that very milk tea is made! The milk would not have curdled, even after twelve hours.

Questioner: I should get my own work done for liberation. Files certainly would not let me go.

Dadashri: No one can become yours. The Self (Atma) is yours; nothing else can be yours. ‘To attain final liberation’ that is the only intent, isn’t it! Does that feel like it is someone else’s work?

Questioner: No, it does not.

Dadashri: Yet, you cannot abandon worldly interactions (vyavahar), can you? You should settle it, in such a way that it does not appear wrong to people.

With Vitaraagata, Files Dissipate

Questioner: If the other person is not ready, then how can I settle [the file] with equanimity? How is it possible to clap with one hand?

(Pg.27)

Dadashri: You have to decide in your mind that, ‘This file that is coming my way I want to settle it with equanimity (sambhaave nikaal)’; that is all You have to do. It is not your concern whether the other person claps or does not clap. As soon as You change your intent (bhaav), then everything will immediately fall into place.

Questioner: Now, all these files will need to be resolved completely, will they not? All the files whether big or small?

Dadashri: You have no choice but to resolve them.

Questioner: But what if the settlement of certain files is one-sided? Is one-sided settlement of files possible?

Dadashri: No, there is no such thing. There is no way out but to settle the files [with equanimity].

Questioner: But, many a times if I want to become free, and the other person does not let go, then is it or is it not possible for one to become free from one side?

Dadashri: One can become free.

Questioner: How?

Dadashri: Your vitaraagata (a state of absolute detachment; complete absence of attachment and abhorrence) is required. In fact, if You are in a state that is completely free from attachment or abhorrence then everything will dissipate. You do not need to see whether the other person accepts it or not. If it were to be otherwise, then no one in this world could surely become free.

Questioner: When I settle [the file] with equanimity, if the other person takes advantage of that, then should I let it continue?

Dadashri: No one has the energy to take advantage. Whatever advantage is to be taken, there can be no change whatsoever in that. Moreover, no one has the energy to take advantage anew. Therefore, do not harbor any fear. Have no fear whatsoever. At least pertaining to this one lifetime get rid of the fear. ‘We’ have the guarantee for that.

Settling With Equanimity is Indeed Your Moral Duty

Questioner: Under any circumstances, am I simply to settle with equanimity?

Dadashri: To settle with equanimity(sambhaave nikaal) is the only thing that falls under Your moral duty. If a certain file comes up to be challenging, then you should decide that ‘I want to settle it with equanimity’. Other files are adjustable, for them there may not be such a need.

Questioner: But when there is total disadjustment then what should I do there?

Dadashri: You should keep the intent in the mind to settle the file with equanimity. ‘I want to settle the file with equanimity,’ you should use just these words.

(Pg.28)

Just say, “I want to Follow the Agna”

Questioner: If personalities are opposing in nature, then how can that be changed?

Dadashri: The world itself means opposing by nature. In addition, if you do not settle this opposition, then you will certainly be faced with opposition every day, and it will be faced in the next life as well. Instead of that, settle the karmic account right here itself, what is wrong with that? After having attained the Self, the karmic accounts can be settled.

“I want to follow the Agnas (five phrases that preserve and complete the awareness as the Self in Akram Vignan given by the Gnani Purush after Gnan Vidhi).” Just say this much that is all. Otherwise, under whose control are all the other adjustments? They are in the hands of Vyavasthit (Scientific Circumstantial Evidence).

If You decide that, ‘I want to settle with equanimity’, then everything will fall into place for You. There is magic in these words. These words will bring about a solution on their own.

Questioner: ‘To settle the file with equanimity’does that mean that whatever the other person says, I should say “Yes” to everything that he says?

Dadashri: If he tells you, “Sit here,” then go ahead and sit. If he tells you, “Go outside,” then go outside. That person is not doing anything at all; it is in fact Vyavasthit doing it. The poor fellow; he is an apparent doer who is simply instrumental in the process (nimit)! Otherwise, You are not to say “Yes” to everything, You are to See whether ‘Chandubhai’ (the reader to insert his or her name here) says, “Yes” or does he say “No.” Besides, it is not under your control to agree with the person all the time. ‘See’ what Vyavasthit makes you do. This is a very simple matter, but people complicate it.

If one follows ‘Our’ Agna to settle files with equanimity, then, not even the slightest of problems will arise for him and that too while he is in the midst of all the snakes!

A Firm Decision is The Only Thing Needed

Questioner: Dada, in order to settle files with equanimity aren’t certain skills required?

Dadashri: If the skill does not exist, however, if he speaks it, he will then end up cultivating the skill. If he just says that, “I want to follow Dada’s Agna!” Then even if he does not know the skill but because he is following the Agna, he will come to know it.

Questioner: But it will not be settled completely, will it; what if one does not know how to take an adjustment in this way, in a tactful (kada) manner?

Dadashri: How can there be tact in this era of the time cycle? When one does not even know how to live, then how can he know how to be tactful? All these women come to me and tell me, “Why don’t you test these husbands.”

(Pg.29)

Even if I were to test them impartially, only two or three would pass out of millions! If one becomes a husband (dhani), then why do quarrels arise? Why do matabheda (divisiveness that develops due to differences in opinions) arise? If divisiveness due to differences in opinions arise, then it means that you do not know how to be a husband.

You have been asked, ‘to settle with equanimity’, all that means is that you must bring about a solution with the person you are married to! And with that, if freedom comes about, then there is nothing greater than that! One will certainly have to become free eventually, won’t he!

There is Difficulty Until the Other Person Gets Closure

When matabheda arises with the wife at home, one does not know how to bring closure to it. When matabheda arises with the children, then he does not know how to bring closure to that, and in this way, he continues to become entangled.

Questioner: The husband would simply say, “The wife should settle, I will not!”

Dadashri: Yes, so that means that he has reached his limit. If the wife brings about a settlement and he does not, then that means that his limit has been reached. If he were a true gentle man, then he would say things in such a manner that the wife becomes happy, and in that, way he would continue to move the ‘car’ [married life] forward. Whereas you keep the car parked for fifteen-fifteen days, months on end; that will not do. You will have difficulty as long as the other person’s mind does not get closure (samadhan). Therefore, bring about a mutual resolution (samadhan).

Questioner: How can I tell whether the other person has closure? The other person has closure, but in that, what if there is harm (ahita) caused to him?

Dadashri: You do not have to see that. If there is harm (ahita) in it for the other person, then he has to see to it. You have to see the benefit-harm (hitta-ahitta) to the other person, but in order to see benefit, what energy [ability] do you really have? You are not able to see your own benefit, then why are you seeing the benefit for others? People see benefit according to their ability, which is how much benefit one should see. However, for the sake of the other person’s benefit if conflicts were to arise, then that should not happen.

Where the Past Karmic Ties are Sticky, Keep Awareness

Questioner: I try to resolve things to the other person’s satisfaction, however I know that the outcome is going to be different, so then what should I do?

Dadashri: Whatever the outcome may be, you should maintain a firm decision that, ‘I want to bring about closure for the other person.’ Decide that you want to ‘settle with equanimity,’ then whether a settlement is reached or not, that is not to be thought of beforehand. And a settlement will come about! If not today,

(Pg.30)

it will happen a day later or three days later. If it is sticky, then it will happen in two years, three years or in five years. The roonanubandha (karmic bondage created due to attachment-abhorrence in the past life) with your wife are very sticky, past karmic ties due to attachment-abhorrence (roonanubandha) with children are sticky, with parents are sticky, it takes a little longer to settle with them. All these people are constantly with us, the settlement with them will happen slowly. Nevertheless, because you have decided that, ‘At some time or another I want to settle the files with equanimity,’ so one day a settlement will definitely come about, it will come to an end. Where there is sticky past karmic ties, you should maintain a lot of jagruti (awakened awareness as the Self). If the snake is just this small, even then you have to be cautious at all times. If you remain careless and unaware, then there will not be a closure. If the other person says something to you and you too happen to retort, there is no problem if this happens. This is because of your underlying resolve is that, ‘I want to settle [matters] with equanimity,’ and that is why abhorrence (dwesh) is not there. To end up speaking is in the realm of the pudgal (non-Self complex) however for abhorrence to prevail; one’s own backing exists behind it. Therefore, you should decide that, ‘I want to settle with equanimity,’ and carryon doing your work, so the karmic account will indeed be cleared.

This is the path to finish off past karmic ties. You will not get anywhere without finishing off the past karmic ties. Therefore, finish off past karmic ties. Whosoever’s insults you are to suffer; let them insult you. Whosoever’s beatings you are to suffer, let them beat you, whomsoever you are to render service (seva) to, serve them, but you will have to clear all karmic accounts. You have designed it in the ‘book’, haven’t you? You will have to clear it, won’t you? Therefore, to the extent of clearing them, you should settle the karmic account. At each and every stage, you should settle it with equanimity!

To Exhaust the Prakruti is Purushartha

This is in fact your own karmic account. It is your fault, created by you, your projection. That, which is being seen, is entirely your own very projection. Up until now, you did not know, so that is why in the entanglements everything became chaotic, but now having Known [the self], no matter what the old projection is, but your new one indeed has to be good.

Questioner: The new projection is good.

Dadashri: Hmm ... Now, there does not remain a need to create a new projection for you at all. You have certainly become the Purush (Self; Atma), therefore Purushartha (to progress as the Self with the five Agnas) remains to be done. Purushartha means to exhaust this prakruti (the non-Self complex); that is referred to as Purushartha. Whatever prakruti you have, exhaust it. To expend the prakruti with equanimity is referred to as Purushartha.

~ Jai Sat Chit Anand